Where a Bridge Hasn't Burned
by CampionSayn
Summary: Garth never hated his older brother, he was just so angry. Mekt never wanted his little brother hurt, he was just so scared. That's why they made such bad choices.
1. Look at This State

_-:-_  
 _There are only two reasons for ever doing anything. One is Love, and the other is Fear._  
 _-Call the Midwife._

* * *

 _Sometimes after he wakes up in the Takron-Galtos infirmary, tubes running down his throat and nose, customary bindings around his ankles and wrists so he won't try to get away (as if he would bother) and the usual taste of blood and saline coming to the forefront of his consciousness not drowned out by the excellent numbing drugs pumping into him-sometimes he feels like apologizing to the universe that he wasted his chance when he was young to die._

 _Mekt knows, yes, that's probably the black shadow that was depression telling him to think that, neural synapses firing poorly and his unnatural abilities reacting to them to make it all the worse, but he can't help it. He thinks of how wonderful it would have been to have drowned in the back of the farm when he was nine and the river had a flash flood that he waded through to a tall tree. He considers the grief that would have been spared if the Lightning Beasts had simply focused on him and burned him to a crisp to leave Garth and Ayla to wait for their parents to pick them up back on the ship._

 _Accidents and purpose of nature, before his sister went away or after she was brought back to Garth, are the fantasies he indulges in, the way he would prefer to go, not because he is a coward and wouldn't take his own life, but because..._

 _Well, he had promised. Even if he was a scumbag he would keep his word._

* * *

 _Silver Stream Blue._ Imra had many chances in the Legion to see Garth get justifiably angry (and even a little without justification) and often because of her expense on the job-his mental pathways were amplified with a feeling of despair and helplessness she hadn't been able to do anything about when she'd been in her healing trance for a long time during the fight against Imperiex and reminded her how much of him was growing into a mature adult and how much of him was just a teenager that came with its own set of problems.

 _Imperial Army White._ But...there is Anger and then there is Fury or Rage. The kind that makes her mentally shut herself off to anything that might come in that she doesn't feel she has the right to know, and also makes her physically on edge without the immediate range of the the person feeling such things. With Lightning Lad, there have been issues he had addressed that bordered on the emotion as such, but never actually dove into it head all entirely under his own will.

 _Obsidian_. And there was something else, like...cold. It seemed to dip into the fear spectrum, but that also wasn't quite right.

 _Storm Cloud Swirls._ Still, Saturn Girl walked into the conference room of the Legion and braced herself as she felt the air charge with electricity hissing with negative energies and found Garth at the communication center, the metal of the table dented, doubtless, from his metal arm squeezing too tight and Garth himself not even noticing her coming in as he made for the bay area for the cruisers at a walk that was barely controlled from turning into a march of destruction. The energy around him didn't cease it's violent behavior, flirting with disaster around him, singing the dust in the air so it smelled like the inside of a laundry dryer and gripping and letting his real hand settle before repeating actions.

"Garth?"

 _Gloomy Underground Chalk._ Her call over to him did not even slow him down, but he did at least acknowledge her before leaving the room in its entirety.

"I'm going to Takron-Galtos for a while. If anyone needs me, somebody had better be dying."

* * *

It is only Human Nature that allows for thought that there is a true weakness in staying perfectly still in the face of absolute danger and threat of death. Beings from other planets, Colu, Naltor, Braal-many other planets-think about suicide differently. Some see it as a kind of noble necessity, a person willing to get rid of themselves rather than become a hindrance to their loved ones. Some think of it as a good thing, the weak exterminating themselves so as not to damage the infrastructure of progress. Some see it as something that cannot and should not be stopped as it is up to the individual to decide their own fate and no one else's.

Knowledge that had been gained throughout his time as a Legion founder and team leader and fighter on most fronts had changed the usual thoughts Lightning Lad had on the subject from when he was young on Winath and only had his planet's thoughts on the issue to consider on. On Winath, suicide was such a strange phenomenon-he didn't even know what it meant until after Ayla was gone and he got really very sad and asked what other twins before him had done in situations where their sibling had perished. He did not wish to ask his parents as they had their own grief to swim in at the time and the smallest little thing made his father angry or had his mother fleeing to the master bedroom to lock the door and weep for hours and hours. He wasn't talking to Mekt-and even if he wanted to, he was never home until well after he was fast asleep or neither mom or dad were anywhere to be found _(especially their father; dark screaming had issued from the barn one early morning that had woken Garth up just before sunrise, bolting up to go and see what was going on with his pants barely cinched around his waist, his leather jacket on his shoulders in case there was a fire like three years before to keep him from getting burnt and his feet dragging his boots in case it might be a flood terrifying the animals-he got there, breathless and full of adrenaline to find both ends of the barn open, his father breathing heavily next to tools that had been knocked over, a light dripping of blood trailing out of the other exit, "It's nothing Garth, go catch a few more hours' shut-eye,")_ so, as much as he knew he would be pitied, he went to the public archives. Twins were known to commit suicide under and up to a year after they had lost their sibling to sickness or murder or accident if they didn't have the support from other family because the emotional trauma had tendency to manifest in horrific night terrors, lack of appetite, tremendous desperation and so on.

Statistically, from those records, Garth had gone over repeatedly in one sitting area for five hours straight, he had as high as a 62% probability of becoming entirely unhinged and going to join Ayla in one way or another.

So began his sort of Dance of the Hours. Counting days he was helpful, moments where he wasn't thinking about telling Ayla something from his day, being useful on the farm, helping his mother try to laugh and his father avoid secretly smoking or getting into the hard liquor kept under lock and key. Counting how many nightmares he'd have in a week, how many meals he could skip before feeling dizzy and giving in to at least have milk or fruit, if he could bath instead of shower without blowing up the water pipes by accident, tallying the insults thrown his way now that he was not only a filthy Solo like his brother, but also a scarred freak.

By the time the ninth month rolled around, his dreams had begun to wane and almost simmer on a low light in the back of his mind; flickering bubbles in a heated pan of water with the flame dying out from lack of oxygen. He was doing well in school despite never having been as smart as his sister and his control of his abilities was no longer similar to trying to lasso the wind and hope it caught a storm.

And Mekt had wanted to die.

After all, loneliness is not the same poison as being alone. One can kill someone like a jump from the top of a very large bridge into a river that is mostly dark sharp rock under mere five inches of water, while the other is something lived in, touched and eventually consumed that corrodes the insides and makes it impossible to do anything but let it fester until the end or cut out the veins to make it less enduring.

Garth remembered the month of fall near its tail and winter coming to its short stay, nosing its way into every door and window so that his parents kept reminding him to put on warm jackets, knitted socks and to _please shut his window-!_

 _"But I didn't..."_

 _Garth paused from calling over his shoulder down the stairs as he heard the door shut, mom and dad leaving for a farmers organized meeting to talk about one of the fields that hadn't been doing well several acres from the Ranzz farm; rot and sown reeds that choked at the seeded grains a kind of devastation for that family that Garth hardly knew anything about, except that the young adult twin boys that still lived there played on the sports teams for the Intergalactic Games and each won high honors._

 _His window was shut, but it was still pretty cold and he could feel chill creeping from down the hallway._

 _Mekt was an idiot, of course he was, but he hadn't done anything to anger or disappoint their parents in over a month, so why would he leave his window open when the snow was likely to come down today?_

 _Walking out of his room, chilled fingers zipping closed his jacket and clicking at the button on top that always gave him a hard time because it was so small and his fingers were all stubby and wrinkled from that morning's breakfast dishes in soapy water, Garth set his face into the usual frown he had for the elder brother and stomped up the staircase that led to Mekt's room. His was the door that was always shut and stood a hallway over from the entrance to the attic and the tiny linen closet Garth and Ayla used to hide in before they were eight and could still fit to play spy and seek with Mekt; the both of them holding their breath as he pretended not to find them just so long as it took them to get antsy and ready to run screaming by the time he popped the door open with 'Hah! Gotcha!'_

 _Garth's scarred eye landed on the door he was going to pound on until his brother got up to hear his younger (only) sibling order him to shut the door before ice started coming into the hallway, but the door was already open. Not like Mekt, he kept it locked, liked his privacy, hated to think that anyone would go in and look through his belongings or take them out when that was just ridiculous, nobody wanted anything from the white haired child, but-_

The blood in Garth's mouth made him blink back from his thoughts and run his tongue over the sizable groove his teeth had left in his lower lip, red dragging after his pink tongue before he swabbed it with more spit and swallowed it, bitter and copper and all.

* * *

A/N: So I'm back from fan limbo in this section and decided to add to the insignificant pile for the Ranzz siblings because while I love what's out there, I want my heart torn out over the brothers SO MUCH MORE than anything to do with Ayla, and if that makes me a bad person, then I am guilty, take me to a dungeon so I can be fattened up and baked into a pie-I do not care.

Also, this is going to be a two-shot if I have to hunt the other plot bunny down with a sniper rifle. This is a gift for Fire Night Sky and Kirra Kills. The first because, while this isn't the sequel that was requested of my previous Ranzz fic (that was a lot softer and less spiked around the edges) it's something, anyway. And Kirra hasn't been around lately so this is more or less to see if this would be a good hook to line.


	2. Make Up Your Mind

_-:-_  
 _There's blood upon the tiles floor_  
 _This place is dark and strange._  
 _-Antonia Michaelis._

* * *

 _It was already snowing, Garth hadn't known that; already snowing and decorating the roof in clean white that, had Garth not been exactly where he was, standing in his brother's room, staring down at a stain on the wood floor that made itself the focus of his attention the moment he had pressed his hand the the door, knocked it open without meaning to do that, and adjusted the gloomy dark to eye the trail that flowed with spotted diligence. He could smell Mekt's smell that was basically what one would assume were clean clothes fresh from the dryer when in fact it was just his electricity circulating and always heating his fabrics and skin, as well as something bitter..._

 _There had been tracks to follow in the snow, out of the window, down the side of the house, off the roof over to a tree that creaked and trembled but didn't break with weight added to it, sliding down off the bark to the ground with more red drippings and splashes ever-increasing with the steps as they got almost, well, they seemed to swerve, veer off one way and then continue on into the still tall sweet grasses turning their saddened winter colors as snow floated down and perched on their shivering yellowed masses. The trees on the edge of the property were naked and so gloomy, and Garth hesitated but a moment, eyes catching some red on a smaller tree's roots, like a skinned knee, and held his arms loose-tight-loose around himself as he continued to the sound of emptiness in seclusion. There was very little out in the wilderness worth the effort in being frightened of, save what could happen with nobody besides yourself to look after you or you to look after them in turn. Garth had never been afraid before with Ayla, and without her..._

 _And Garth had more to fear once he traveled another five minutes, the blood (he couldn't even bother to fool himself into thinking it was something benign) fading out onto the water where it was probably washed away or hidden under more snow along with the footprints keeping its company. The river was not quite frozen over and the ice already formed groaned with the weight of a small, malnourished, battered body standing just out of the range of danger, where it was buckling and grinding the water under the freezing platform, but just strong enough not to give way._

 _Black and purple creased and lay spread around eyes equal only in color and inner power to Garth's own; hands bigger than his own clenched knuckle white at his sides and shaking blood down the town sleeve of the left arm that was more limp than the other by far. There was no real life in Mekt's face, though; just a sullen, empty expression that did not change as Garth stepped closer and almost bolted over when a crest of ice, at least three-by-three feet around broke off of the edge where Mekt remained standing, floating off down the river that was still steady and fast moving, swallowing up the white light and tint of the grey sky above like a body of black, like a living entrance to the underworld._

 _"Mekt...?"  
_

* * *

Blue eyes that were not born blue, but made that way through trauma, stared, stoic, quiet, not like usual. There were scuffled markings on the floors and walls, breaks in slabs of concrete still being cleaned up and burn marks from the riot of a few days ago, but this didn't even phase Garth, or draw his attention on the way through Takron-Galtos; he had felt a modicum of disdain towards the twin guards obviously from Winath that had been at the front gate waiting to take him to his brother-both of them murmuring, "Maybe this is his twin?" "Maybe this is actually one of those good twin-evil twin real time scenarios?" when they thought he couldn't hear them-but pushed it down into the back of his mind when they reached the infirmary and he saw his brother.

He had done something good. Mekt had been doing a good thing when the riot had broken out and there was screaming, creation of scars that might not heal for the guards, and threats registered in the air that had struck down in earnest when Mekt had gotten in the way of what might have turned into an escape scenario among his old allies in the LSV and the Fatal Five.

Some old marks were visible along his older brother's arms and Garth sucked in as much oxygen as he could, walking through the med-ward entrance and running his tongue over his teeth and his teeth into the still fresh groove of the bite in his skin. The guards remained behind the doors, back and back facing the brothers to give them as much privacy was possible to the two. In a way, they owed Ranzz, so no matter if they didn't much care for the member of the Legion, they would try and be grateful to the guy that had kept one of the female prison wardens from being taken hostage-or worse-by minding their own business.


	3. Road to Turn

_-:-_  
 _If you want to look to the future for direction, you must first look to the past, as the future's the reflection of it._  
 _-Will Smith._

* * *

 _How can I explain? I wanted someone to love you, **always** , I wanted someone to love you; even if that couldn't be me at the time because of anger and heartache._

 _Even though it was, is, and will always be me that loved you through all of that._

 _Our world was a world entirely for one soul in two bodies, because if there wasn't two, then there could be no sign of nurture, no sign of things picking up in another generation. To be alone was to be displaced, to whither, to have never earned a mouthful of bread because one soul in one body must be something entirely unto itself; selfishness and sickness in body and soul._

 _But no matter how bad you got, doing one bad thing after another, I couldn't buy into it, because a selfish person does not look after someone else that they're a little jealous and bitter over. They do not try and honor the parents that neglect them and-in some cases, during the quiet of the night-hurt them and make them leave far too soon. They do not try for something better, even if the attempt is ignored or seemingly a long way off or too late._

 _Hating yourself is not quite selfish, either, it's just responding to things beyond your control and trying to put an end to it so you'll be out of the way of people you think are above or below you; sometimes in a way that you can't take back._

 _I did not want you to hate yourself, standing out in the middle of a frozen wildness, about to make the choice that you thought was right._

 _I mean, I loved you and didn't want you dead and didn't want to be alone._

 _That **is** selfish, in way, saving someone just so you won't inevitably be as lonely as they were-are-but I saw your sadness and I know you loved. _

_And I do love you, so regardless of what I did feel and do feel, then and now and back again, please don't doubt that._

 _Even if you have no reason to believe me._

* * *

Twenty-seven fights. Mekt had been the target of twenty-seven fights, heavy brawls and situations he couldn't get out of and, according to the report sitting in Garth's hands as he waited for his elder brother to shake off the sedatives he was on so they could talk for a little while, during the last three he hadn't fought back.

Okay, that was a little bit of a lie Garth was telling himself. In the first two at the tail-end of the rather large number, Mekt had put up some marginal resistance, breaking his right wrist when he punched an inmate in the face; chafing his knuckles and tips of his fingers which showed he'd made an effort of defending himself.

This time...like most of the other times...

Garth set the report down on the table, leaning forward, elbows balanced on his knees and one hand picking up Mekt's, finding so many dark bruises along his veins and thin frame, but no scabbing on his knuckles or the hand Garth could see but couldn't reach from his seated position.

No defensive wounds, no resistance, severe injuries everywhere.

It meant that he had simply surrendered to the hurt, to the humiliation, the abuse.

Garth wasn't stupid. No fight means giving up, means a real lack of hope; which meant he was in danger of being killed the next time someone went after him for just existing.

In other words, he was in a place not too different from Winath, except there was nowhere he could take reprieve from all the negativity except solitary confinement and there was no fucking way in hell Garth was going to let the prison system put him somewhere that he could quietly kill himself _(his own hands clenching around his throat; his teeth so white they were like slants of fallen ice tearing into the veins of his wrists so the blood stuck in his throat and he choked while bleeding out; pounding his head into a wall, back and forth, until there was a crack that meant success; tossing the food given to him into the toilet and starving-which wouldn't take long at all, given how thin he already was)_ where nobody would notice the lack of a heartbeat until it was too late.

He sighed and closed his eyes, bringing the loose and limp and _cold_ hand to his forehead; the temperature difference setting him even more on edge and fearful, "I should have known something was wrong when you sent Ayla those instructions...I mean, you wanted to keep her safe, I know that, I've seen her and she really appreciated it, I just didn't... I'm so stupid, you know that. I should have _understood_."

* * *

Imra had not been expecting Nura to come walking into the monitor room with half past five rolling into the sky to paint the day as grey and cold as Saturn Girl's thoughts about Garth and his brother had been. And most assuredly she did not expect the forward dreamer to come in with small, distressed, crying, _**bruised** _ Ayla Ranzz, tucked up next to Dream Girl like a lamb keeping close to a ewe that wasn't its mother but still was absolutely beyond doubt _**safe**_.

 _Rotten, dying bamboo tanned by burning sunlight._

 _Blood of a hanged witch as it boiled in the veins of the body cast into a burning wood pile._

Saturn Girl tried to tuck in her anger and nausea that sprang up from her heart and center at the impression on both of their psyches. She had never picked up on Dream Girl being so sure and brittle at the same time after obviously waking from a warning she needed to at least try and prevent; and Ayla shouldn't have had that color permeating from her cerebral cortex almost the exact same color as Garth whenever something deeply troubling happened to him or was _happening_ to him.

Imra and Nura shared a look and the pre-cog gave only the barest of nods, allowing for Imra to pick up the explanation and what should be done about it while Ayla wiped at her face and gave little hiccups from almost-not-quite-behind Nura.

The pink florescent glands behind Imra's eyes picked up just along the edges, making it seem as though the lights above their heads were just playing a trick, rather than having stars light up from the inside of her. It was rude, and almost wrong, but sometimes things needed to be understood before they could be known or get any better, and that was the entire intent radiating off of both Legionnaires as Imra focused on the quiet desperation and sickly tinged sadness exuding from Ayla's psyche and Nura provided what she could from the memory of a dream that left her empathizing with Garth more than she had since they'd really started to get along.

Nura also kept Ayla's eyes from looking too closely at Imra while she delved; Dream Girl handing Ayla a tissue to wipe up some of the saltwater tracks on her face that blurred the dirt and grit on her cheeks and chin.

 _{" **...There's this really nice, quiet back road that leads out from behind the school into the woods if you ever wanna get home in a hurry or are trying to avoid the boys that will probably fawn all over you once they realize how pretty you are. Don't hold it against them, but just keep in mind that it's an option. If you're afraid of all the little brooks and pawns and Silmarwhen Fish, don't be; they get used to you after the first three times they see you around.**_

 ** _The woods aren't haunted, but you can always pretend that they are if you want to play hide and go seek; you'll always win when hiding, trust me._**

 ** _Also, the big old Blackroot tree that towers over the biology lab? There's a trick root along the one with old green scars in the shape of an X that you can use to hide your lunch so it doesn't get stolen by the other girls (you know, everyone loves mom's pie and sandwiches) so just tuck it inside before getting to class, and it'll still be there, no birds or rodents or anything go near that tree and neither do most of the other kids._**

 ** _I know classes are gonna be difficult without Garth, but just do your best and if it gets really...hard... the headmasters can be prompted to give you an extra day to finish and they can't say no because it's not technically giving you an unfair advantage since you don't have an extra pair of hands and there's too much work to do in a single night._**

 ** _...Try to make friends, okay? It'll be worth it and I know you're gonna be lonely so, try, okay? Just promise that you'll try._**

 ** _Love ya, Little Sis. -Mekt."_**

 _The letter Ayla had received from her elder brother via her not-so-much-entirely-twin-anymore-brother had seemed like a welcome blessing after almost a year of being back home and... feeling out of place. Her parents had been far over the moon in their joy to welcome their daughter back, and some of her friends that had grown up at the same rate as Garth had been amazed, and curious and ever-so-kind; there had been questions and a lot of hugging and her mother not letting her stray too far from home her first month back and her father making sure that nothing had gone differently with her return like the boys when they had started firing lightning._

 _But then school started and the letter took on a new meaning and understanding and Ayla actually... there were parts of the letter that had thicker handwriting, like Mekt had put an exorbitant amount of energy into not saying the most obvious of things._

 _The forest and the lonely road was for running away from cruel girls who called her a liar and boys that tugged at her hair or threw rocks at her head, calling her names mostly centered on "filthy Solo" and the like. They never took another step once she disappeared into the clusters of high foliage and dark shadows with creepy fish looking out from their homes between the roots of trees that dipped into the water. Ayla had actually gotten used to them and started to think that, for being so ugly, they were cute._

 _The tree with its hiding places wasn't to keep other kids from taking her dessert when she wasn't looking, it was also to hide her belongings so the other kids didn't break into her locker and trash them. There were even some old papers and money from when Ayla was certain Mekt had been the same age as she was; his name on a few books that were worn out because of weather and time and beneath those, food that had enough preservatives to last another decade._

 _Schoolwork was hard. It was meant for two people, this she had always known. Two heads were better for clarity and getting to an answer quicker with synergy, but alone it seemed almost a mountain that, even if you got to the top, there was another one right next to it, and sometimes you got lost, or stranded, or couldn't find the right path again. Her teachers often tutted her on her tardiness with finished homework and brought up parts of it being unfinished and even when she did finally swallow her pride and went to the headmasters to ask for extended time to finish **(she was alone, how could she be expected to do this all with just one head and two hands?)** they had seemed far more reproachful than they had any right to be._

 _The other kids thought that her extended time tables were unfair, giving her more advantage. If she tried to explain, they didn't listen. If she tried to make them understand, they bullied her with either words or hands._

 _Ayla really understood how horrible it must have been for Garth when he went back after the incident with the Lightning Beasts; alone and wretched, they might have left him alone only for a short period if he didn't also have powers that must have made even the bravest bullies quake._

 _Ayla also really understood why Mekt left. She'd had a year, Garth had maybe two or three. Mekt had been dealing with it since he was born._

 _Her parents didn't understand, her teachers wouldn't help her, and making friends was something it didn't seem like she would be able to do no matter how nice she was or how much she just tried to keep out of the way, or how late she stayed outside during the night in the words to just stare at the little fish that were no longer something to be afraid of._

 _So she saved up her money and hid away some clothes and intended to call Garth and ask first, but then a particularly vindictive pair of girls had gone too far and stolen her holophoto of herself and her brothers. She'd fought back, finally she'd fought back and had the picture in her pocket as the proof, but it was just too much._

 _She'd left her parents a note, gotten her clothes and what she could fit in a little travel case and bought a ticket for a shuttle trip to New Metropolis._

 _The ride had been a boring look out into the cosmos just watching constellations pass on by as well as animals that shouldn't live out in space but somehow did **(like those icky green things with teeth or those vaguely adorable things that looked like electrified jellyfish)** , except for the telescreens set up on the shuttle that reported the news and showcased music selections for the people on board and, when she had nearly dozed off, she'd woken up immediately to the news blasting that Takron-Galtos had been the site of another all-out riot that had included most of the guards being injured, though a surprise had happened in the form of one of the prisoners protecting a guard that was going to be assaulted, which lead to a fight that meant many of the other prisoners had been injured and unable to flee._

 _When the screen had lit up with Mekt's picture and flashed the words 'In Critical Condition' across his face in flashes letters, she'd nearly broken down right then and there as they were docking into Earth and her first course of action was to be the first one off the shuttle and out onto the streets to head for the Legion Tower._

 _Garth had been leaving just as she arrived, angry and couldn't hear her when she called to him across the street._

 _Still, even as she felt tears cascading down her face, the doors to the building had opened and Dream Girl had come rushing out, flustered and short of breath and paused only long enough to look up towards where Garth had been and then back down directly at Ayla._

 _"Are you Garth's sister, Ayla?" She'd asked, probably knowing the answer already, Ayla assumed as she walked over and bent into a crouch so they were eye to eye; her long arm reaching out and her hand setting on the smaller girl's shoulder to comfort her as best she could as her other hand set on the travel case Ayla hadn't realized she'd dropped so she could wrap her arms around herself as tears started to fall, "I'm sorry; Garth didn't know you were coming, but he's just as worried about Mekt as you are. He'll be back a little later, hopefully with some good news, so let's get you inside...}_

Imra pulled out, eyes wet, but the last sentence in that train of memory left her with something to hold onto so she wasn't just as out of it as the little girl that just missed her brothers more than anyone who'd been through what had should have ever had to.

Nura met her eyes and nodded, silent and encouraging Imra to ask the question.

"Good news?"

"I had a little conversation with Brainy, Cosmic Boy and Phantom Girl before I went to greet Miss Ayla here. If my calculations are correct, they should be on the line with the head of the Takron-Galtos parole board."

"You dreamed this...?"

"I dreamed Brainy and Tinya _failing_...but for all they bicker and act like they're twelve, Rokk and Garth have enough respect between them to be in each others' corners for things like this."


End file.
